the ebb and flow of relationships

i should be used to this by now

why then is it so hard

Tabula Rasa.

it's all i can hope for now.

MELISSA I WISH YOU WERE HERE BESIDE ME....... we would go shopping eat ice cream eat all my favourite food i.e. JAP spend a crazy amount of money whine about being broke find the boys to talk and eat supper and talk more play wiii cookoff go swim go tan eat some more laugh til we die send you home when you are pissed drunk wake up to your drunk breath eat a huge breakfast hear your whining about how humans don't get up early like i do.

i miss you slutface.

see i updated. ALL ABOUT YOU SOME MORE!

p/s kenny and thad say hi ( they are too busy partying up ORD-style. asswipes )

how can someone pull you closer, only to keep you at arm's length?

the only time i needed you, you turned and left.

now i'm left to pick myself up, close the wounds.

thank god for friends: my safety net, that's what i call Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love is when I can call you at 2 a.m., rant/cry/blubber incoherently, hear the concern in your voice and feel this immense sense of peace after the phone call.

To Kenny&Thad&Sally, know that I'd do the same in a heartbeat.

Now things can only get better. I know they will.

angst.

one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is people not being punctual, and me having to wait for them.

FUCKING HATE IT can't you do PROPER time management. #$*#(%*(#

i have been so volatile of late.

i hate it. i hate it when i lose that veneer of indifference. when i show the slightest bit of emotion (other than amusement). it makes me feel so vulnerable.

the worst part is feeling guilty for lashing out at whoever's unlucky enough to suffer the brunt of it.

still fucking grumpy.

You know what I love most about us? I love how comfortable we are with each other. I love how we endlessly make fun of each other, but never take the teasing to heart. I absolutely adore how when I turn away from you when we’re fighting, you try to stay mad, then run after me. I love the look in your eyes when we kiss or how you stay up to watch me sleep. I love how I can call you anytime when I need someone and somehow you never cease to make me laugh. I love how you need me as much as i need you. And most of all, I love how you love me.

to live in the moment

it's been awhile, but recently i realized that i miss having a blog. somewhere i can spew all of my verbal vomit again

looking at my last entry (dated Jan 09)-

it's only been ten months, but how things have changed. summer was Amazing.. in fact, summer was the main catalyst

I have changed. Never thought I could cry so much, or EMOTE so much. Damn right, I am becoming a regular GIRL. Jon Young, if you are reading this, you are in for a rude shock when you finally come back from Australia. Miss Independent I am no more. For once in my life I chose to let someone in, decided to go it all purely based on blind faith and an open mind. I made an irrational choice, let my heart choose instead of my head

I might be new to this relationship-thing where someone cares about me that much and I him. Everyday I am still learning how to show that I do.. Like I said, it's a whole new ball game........ Hell of a ride!!!

after 10 months of blog-hiatus, unfortunately, school is still the same Hellhole. Talk about life's constants

p/s HI MELISSA. love gazillionjabillion from right here.

i'm HOME finally. hokkaido was a gastronomical haven, shanghai my comfort zone with the entire family in attendance. even so, i missed my bah chor mee, or lua, prata, ykkt, killiney breakfasts, hokien mee.. and my favourite people. yes u assholes i'm back!!!!! DATE ME, let's have post-xmas celebrations and post newyrs and unhealthy suppers let's go let's go

now, where do we go from here?