life's been absolutely hectic. thankfully training has stopped, because my legs no longer feel like mine. 

yesterday it was kenny's birthday, the whole clique turned up.. it's been awhile since we all let loose and had fun. summer's changed everything, for the first time in a long time ALL OF US ARE SINGLE HAHAHAHA birthday changed to lonelyhearts gathering, melissa the chair, kenny vice-chair and the rest of us the minions, what's new. bday boy went DOWN so bad, my mom let him sleep in the guest room.. loser 

i can't stress how much i love you guys. going through all that shit with me, enduring all my rants during that fucked period [bloody long it was too], handing me tissues when i [hide to] cry and sometimes i don't hide fast enough. but like josh said, what else do i want to hide when we've all seen each other drooling at 4 yrs old. hear hear!  

i'm free. i made the decision, and i'm going to stick to it.  no questionings, no what-ifs, no what-couldhavebeens.. that chapter of my life has ended irrevocably. 

wasted far too much time dithering about waiting for us to make up our minds. i'm just glad i did it. today, as i lounged on josh's couch, i felt a sense of relief wash over me.. haven't felt so at peace in awhile. 

Tomorrow, we will run faster, stretch our arms out farther.. And one fine morning-- 

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.